Excerpted From: Death To Deathlessness
Q: Although you keep telling us to enjoy sex and to have fun, I often find myself feeling serious and not very alive when I have sex. Somehow I’m afraid to just have fun. I don’t understand it. Can you explain?
A: Everybody understands it, including you. It is your conditioning. You have been told so many times that sex is sin, that, whenever you make love, immediately that conditioning comes in between you and your lover. You start feeling guilty and serious. You are doing something against all the great religious people of the world.
You are alone, a tiny, small human being, and you are going against the whole history of thousands of prophets and messiahs of all the countries, of all the nations. Naturally you become serious, and your seriousness makes you feel dead. Seriousness belongs to the dead. Have you ever seen any dead man laughing? Or even smiling? Laughter belongs to life; seriousness is part of death.
The living person is always playful, not serious. And because I say making love is nothing but fun…. You have been told it is sin, and I am telling you it is fun. The difference is so much that you become puzzled. It is not sin. If it were sin, existence would have created you without your genitalia. What was the need? Nature would have found some other way to produce children.
The saint and sex
Existence is not against sex. You have to be aware of the fact that it does not concern only humanity…. Your saints appreciate ﬂowers – they are ignorant, they don’t know what they are doing. They are appreciating sex, because that ﬂower is not for saints to appreciate, it has nothing to do with the saints. These ﬂowers are very sexual. Why are they so colourful? And why is there so much fragrance? Not for you.
The fragrance is to attract the butterﬂies, the bees. The colours are to attract. If they were colourless, without fragrance, then no butterﬂy, no bee would be so stupid as to come to them. They have to create a magnetic force for them to come. This is a sexual phenomenon. The birds, the animals, the whole existence depends on sex for giving birth to life.
That’s why I say sex is playfulness, it is fun. You cannot accept the idea of fun because of your conditioning that it is sin. It is a quantum leap from sin to fun! But what can I do? It is fun.
Sex is not a sleeping pill
Because of your religious teachings, sex has become only a kind of sleeping pill for man. Relaxed, the energy gone out, you don’t have any more energy for the mind, for it to go on and on and keep you awake – you fall asleep. This is not the purpose of sex. Sleeping pill? You can get any brand you want, any type you want – a woman is not needed. This is insulting, to make woman just your sleeping pill.
Forget all that nonsense that you have been told and conditioned by, and make love delicately, slowly. You will call a man an idiot who drinks a cup of tea in one gulp and is ﬁnished. He will burn his mouth, the tea is wasted. He does not know how to drink tea; it has to be sipped, not gulped!
And when the orgasm has happened and you both are so full of joy, then the last part of it is still to be completed – the appendix, the afterplay. The woman has given you so much joy, the man has given you so much joy – yet without even saying thank you to each other you go to sleep, with no gratitude. The only way to show your thankfulness is to play with the woman’s body again – afterplay, let the woman play with your body….
My own understanding is, if sex becomes fun, prostitutes will disappear from the world. There is no need for any woman to fall so low as to sell her love. At least leave one thing, love, out of the marketplace – just one thing which is not a commodity. It has no price label on it. It is immensely valuable, but it has no price.
It’s the priests who have forced millions of women to be prostitutes, because they have created the idea of sin in your mind. All these things are interconnected. And I always go to the very root. That’s why I emphasize, let sex be a playfulness, a fun.
And since the invention of the pill, there is no problem, you need not be worried about children. Now it is completely fun, with no responsibility, with no trouble following it. Enjoy it! Put your mind aside. Tell the priest, who is continuously in your mind talking to you – yakkety-yak, yakkety-yak – to go to hell. You are making love and the priest is giving his Sunday sermon! No, love is such a beautiful phenomenon that you should learn the art of love, just as you should learn the art of life.
Make a playroom for love
If you can afford it, your room for love should be separate, because it is a temple. And when you enter the room of love, you should leave your shoes out – and your heads too; just put them in the shoes. And before you make love, have a good shower, be clean. Meditate for a few minutes. Make it a beautiful experience.
Let the room be lighted not by electricity, but by candles. Let there be some fragrance just as it is in the temples; burn fragrance. And in the room of your love, never do anything else – no ﬁghting, no argument. If you are not in a good mood, then it is better not to go to the room of love.
You are unaware of many things…. The same bed in which the husband and wife sleep, they ﬁght there, they argue, they throw pillows at each other, and then they make love too, on the same bed. They don’t understand that each act, each thought, each feeling has its own vibration. The room of love should be full of the vibration of love. Be playful, joyous. It is simply a question of understanding what is happening to you, and the very understanding will change the whole thing.